So the question becomes, what do I really want out of life. A home? Love? Success? Happiness? And which part leads to the others. I haven't the faintest idea. The American ideal is to have them all, but so many people have none. I think I'll just hug my kitties and be happy to have my health and just wistfully dream of the rest.
I'm in a majorly bummed mood. Looking for houses around here is so freaking depressing. And the house I really wanted is now nearly $20,000 more in less than a month. I wish I had signed on it, but at the time I did not know my raise was going to be as good as it turned out to be. I'm at the point of saying fuck it and just renting for the rest of my life. I just don't think I have the strength to look at hundreds of used homes just to be outbid numerous times. This really blows.
Oh yeah....I wanted to post something about the whole Pledge of Allegiance thing, but now I've seen Mona has already covered the issue in her blog, so I'll direct you there. Those who don't know history will be damned to repeat it. And apparently our media chosses to ignore history. 'Nuff said.
I'm still sore from Monday's workout at the gym. We had a sub teaching our class and he worked us very hard. He had us do a total of 100 push-ups along with lots of lunges and other toning exercises. Granted I probably only did 80-90 pushups, but that still is a lot! Last night I attended Pilates class, which is great for core strength and is quite relaxing.
Wednesday evening, Urvi and I went to meet up with other women from one of my former workplaces. We had all gathered to see another coworker who is suffering from metasticized Breast Cancer. Unfortunately, she felt too sick from her treatments to come. So it turned into a quasi-happy hour instead. It was nice to see everyone, but I wish Pam had been well enough to come. I fear I may not get another chance to see her.
Yesterday, Bill, a current coworker felt ill from his treatments. He's being treated for Lymphoma, and had been tolerating the treatments fairly well up til now. But the cytotoxicity of cancer drugs tends to be cumulative, so with each treatment it becomes harder for the person to function normally. Hopefully, Bill will take it easy today and not come in.
Aditionally, our VP continues to deteriorate from glioblastoma. I'm really tired of having cancer rip away the vibrant lives of people I know. :(
Hmmm....I really should end this entry on a better note.....
Cindy and her husband hosted everyone Wednesday at their townhome. They recently purchased the 6-year old townhome that is simply lovely. It gives me some hope that I may find a nice townhome to purchase. Now I just need to get off my ass and talk to a realtor!
The weekend went quick. Saturday I went to play pool with Karen. We decided to leave there when these two creepy guys sat down near our table drinking with no obvious intention to play pool. Then, we could have gotten out of paying due to the computer malfunctioning, but Karen being the Tech geek she is, instructed the cashier how to use the computer with the touch screen not functioning. LOL. :)
Sue sent me a bunch of burned CDs that I need to get time to listen to. Several I have never even heard of, and some that look very strange from their album covers. I did listen to a couple that weren't bad though.
And on Sunday, Sarah and her boyfriend Nino stopped by for a couple hours on their way from Virginia Beach to Long Island, New York. I made them a half-way decent dinner, but I think we should have went out to eat instead. Poor Sarah was soooo allergic to my kitties. She was sniffling from the moment she came in the door and her eyes were watering constantly. I felt so bad for her. I forgot she was allergic because she's had cats before. But it was those previous cats that sensitized her so much.
Also, amidst all this I managed to post a second chapter to a Witchblade story I'm writing. I'm pleased with it so far, but I'm stressing a bit over it because I know my attention will soon be needed back looking at townhouses and I may need to put it aside for awhile. :(
I'm not sure what to think of this. But my boss knows that I'm a Witchblade fan. I showed his son my Witchblade music page, and he mentioned it to his father. Turns out they have both seen the show when it aired on WB network. And they liked it. Matthew wants to borrow my first season tapes for the week they are on vacation. And I suspect Jeff will watch with him. Tape Fairying for my boss?....Gosh that's a bit strange.
Unexpectedly, I learned yesterday that I got my raise. And it was greater than what I had been anticipating. The only weird thing is only a few people who had job level changes [I guess promotions] got their raises quietly. Everyone else hasn't received theirs yet which were due in April. So I've chosen to not say anything to any of my coworkers. No point in invoking any ill will over something I have no control over. But the nice thing is the money will definitely benefit me in my search for a house to buy.:)
I was awakened this morning by Gee scratching the bed just next to my head. It dawned on me that noone probably brought in the litter box for the cats. When I arrived at my parents in the afternoon, my Mom and I rushed out to go to the bridal shower. Turns out it was at 3 pm and not 2 pm and we were there early. But this resulted in the litter box not being attended to.
So I dragged myself up to go check. And in fact the box was not out for the cats. Then, I went in the back cellar and to the back door to check in the shed attached to the house for the litter box so I could bring it inside. As I was unlocking the door, I heard Tabitha licking something. Or more like eating something. So I told her to spit it out. With some prodding I got her to release what she had. A mouse!
It was already dead. But she wanted to keep her quarry despite my objections. Finally I found a tissue and I made her release the dead mouse that she kept trying to eat. Picking it up, I took pause to decide what I was going to do with this dead mouse. I decided to open the back shed door and toss it into the back yard. Ewwww...
The thing is I'm not certain Tabitha actually caught the mouse. I suspect thast Gee might have caught him, but Tabitha stole his quarry. And that's why Gee came to wake me up. But in the end I did retrieve the litter box and all was well again in the basement of my parents house, LOL. Cats 2, Mice -1.
Getting ready to go to Jersey this morning. A friend's bridal shower is today, and another friend has a birthday today, so there's lots to do. And my Mom wants some of my time to go furniture shopping with her. My parents are giving their old set (which they bought when they got married 31 yrs ago) to my brother and SIL and getting themselves something new. I think they deserve something new after 30 years. And I must admit the old set was great quality since it held up so well so long. I'm sure it will be difficult to find something as good quality today.
We had T-storms at 2 am and I had trouble sleeping soundly. I'm just hoping this wet weather will finally makes its way out of here--I hate driving in the rain. But I figure it will be much easier to drive this morning than it would have been to drive there last night. Friday night traffic in the rain? No friggin way...it would've taken 4-5 hours instead of 3.
And Witchblade premires Sunday night. Now I just gotta figure out whether I'm leaving early Sunday or just calling out on Monday and staying over. What a dilemna! ;)
Getting tired of receiving un-Godly amounts of spam and not sure what you can do about it? It appears you can't do a whole lot. And there's a good chance the spammers are using YOUR addy as a return address on their spam. And here I thought it was bad enough when the Klez worm spoofed my addy. Ted Rall tells his story of internet identity theft in his OP/Ed column from 6/5 titled Anarchy.com.
It's supposed to be a scorcher of a day here...and I'm just trying to get my last entry to publish, lol. :)
Went to the gym tonight for Legs, Back, and Abs class. I hadn't been in several weeks and boy, did this class kick my butt! Feels good to be sore having worked my body hard.
My cat Gee is myipping again. He already went outside on the balcony earlier, but it seems he wants to be let out again. He's such a stinker...but such a cutie, too. He's been here nearly six months now. I guess that means I'm gonna keep him. ;)
My attitude was much better today, having rested up over the weekend. And maybe I'm not PMSing so much either, lol. :) However, I did get ticked off when a pick up and a van came barreling down I-270 changing into the lane I was trying to merge onto. Luckily it is a long merge and I saw them coming or perhaps I wouldn't have had the opportunity to be ticked. But why is it the cops rarely catch these guys that are doing 90 in a 55, while weaving in and our of traffic?
Have you ever questioned whether someone was really your friend? Ever realized that someone's morals and ethics are so different from your own, that you can't see them in the same light anymore. Sometimes these sorts of feelings pass and you find the person is still a friend, though you may view the friendship differently. And sometimes you wonder what changed or had it always been that way and you just didn't see it.
If you are reading this and wondering who I am talking about, I can assure you that you are not the person I'm referring to....she is not aware of this blog, lol. :)
It's been a beautiful weekend here. Mild temps, low humidity, and plenty of sun. :)
Yesterday, Karen and I went to the Potomac Celtic Festival. With the great weather, it was very relaxing to cruise around looking at the variety of Celtic merchandise. We didn't buy anything other than the overpriced food. But fortunately the pit ham sandwich I had was quite yummy. Nothing worse than buying overpriced food from a vendor, except getting overpriced food that is barely edible. And damn it, if you paid that money, you are gonna damn well eat it in spite of that, lol.
The reason we bought nothing was that the prices are marked up for such an occasion. Instead, we may check out the web sites on our own for the things we were mildly interested in. And for myself, nothing jumped out at me, so I may not even bother. I need to try to conserve my money.
Today, I spent 2 hours by the pool. After spending nearly an hour preparing for the pool, I damn well was going to spend more than that time at the pool. LOL. There was this one couple there that I can guarantee that guy is already thinking of bailing on her. And I would too, if I had to listen to that annoying girl who was so preoccupied with herself. But I must admit it did provide an amusing show. Also, this one guy who I have seen at the pool every summer was there yet again. I hate to say this, but I acted as if I didn't know him, simply because I know how much of a drag it is to talk to him. Not to mention he seemed to be having a problem with plummers crack, lol. Kept losing his trunks....ewwww. But I saw an anger in his eyes...kinda scared me. I only really talked to him once a few summers ago, and got a large dose of his conservative views. His personality, in addition to his views were enough to have me not associating with him. Talking to him only gives him opportunity to latch on. So I buried my nose in the JD Robb book I'm currently reading.
Why do people write and post fanfiction? Is it purely for attention and praise? For some people, yes. It can also be a way of trying to fit in. A form of finding acceptance with ones peers. It can be a way of getting out there and actually writing something.
I know I hadn't written anything in years until after I saw other folks writing LFN fiction. And after I had a long discussion with some fellow DC area LFNers that wrote fic. They discussed what was good and what was bad in terms of form, style, etc. They talked about how shifting POVs can become distracting and takes away from the chapter. This was something I never even was aware of--something I hadn't really considered even when reading fiction.
And so I tried it out. At first it was simply to tell stories. To have fun with it. To share my love of the show and put out there my own storyline ideas. Gradually I branched out and started being more critical of my own writing. I spent more time researching such topics as mind control and cults, and places such a France and Monaco. Research became a big part of the thrill of writing. And I spent more time writing and rewriting to hone my stories more carefully--even as I posted them chapter by chapter.
I find I need the encouragement and demandingness of the readers to keep me focused on writing as opposed to other distracting influences of my life. I have a Witchblade story started that I haven't touched in months because I have no one asking about it. My intention was to write something in its entirety before posting it, but I can see that that doesn't work for me. Instead I may stick to posting a few chapters at a time, having my beta reader checking it as I go as well.
With a young fandom (the fandom, not necessarily the authors) like Witchblade, there is a lot of writing fairy tale type stories. I think some of these writers could evolve to write about more mature themes. (And I'm not referring to NC-17) Perhaps these lesser evolved stories are a result of the authors being more exposed to harlequin romances and the traditional programming available on network and cable TV. Or perhaps they are doing it simply for fun, which in itself it not necessarily a bad thing.
I think it is these stereotypical ideals enstilled in females (the majority of fic writers) that show up in the form of fic. Woman gets saved by man, woman falls in love with man, woman gets betrayed by man, woman forgives man, they get married, have kids and live in bliss. Or the other common theme is man is hung like horse, pleases his woman always and repeatedly, and is domestic as well. It's only when the author sees beyond the typical romance and finds a unique story of the inner human struggle, that you can go towards something different.
Now granted I have written some romance, but I always like to focus on the struggle and the humanity involved. I like to consider the characters flaws and what lead to those flaws. What makes a person tick. What drives them. And what they are willing to overcome in order to survive. These are the types of things I like to read about as well. Oh, yeah...I'm a suspense junkie, too, lol.
I think the biggest reason I write is that I have a story to tell and a desire to share it. It is especially satisfying if I get people to consider something they never considered previously about the characters or the story...or if I manage to nail a character in a scene and folks respond to that. It's about what my readers take away from the story....about their enjoyment and satisfaction.
Cuz, I surely am not a great writer, but I try my best. :)
Last week I finished reading Jean Auel's Shelters of Stone. While I found myself eagerly reading the book to continue following a story I started reading well over 10 years ago, I found it a bit lackluster. While I highly admire her ability to research detailed theory about prehistoric man and weave that into a extensive tale, I find her language boring and the story a bit stiff. There also is a repetitiveness to it, that I strongly suspect is from having written it over nearly a 10 year span. All in all not a bad book, but I've read much better in more recent years. I think I have grown to have higher standards and expectations.
Now I think I'll go back to reading the last few JD Robb books. *g*
The news story that suggests that the mastermind of 9/11 is a man other than bin Laden has me questioning whether this story is true or if one of two scenarios is going on.
A) Authorities are trying to get a rise out of bin Laden to get him to carelessly respond in some way allowing us to locate him, since he is the real mastermind behind the attack.
Or B) authorities are trying to skew things away from bin Laden to a more attainable target to keep the 'war on terrorism' going strong. This could have much to do with the thought (or direct knowledge) that bin Laden is dead. Don't forget it was rumored that the US had captured bin Laden just a few weeks ago. You know damn well they'd just quietly kill him, rather than make him a martyr or deal with all the worldwide media attention. It would be a three ring circus if they extradited him elsewhere for trial.
This is definitely a story I have trouble taking at face value, since there was never any prior indication that someone other than bin Laden was believed to have been the one calling the shots for 9/11.
I seem to be having a pity party lately...LOL. I'll try to quit doing that, but I can't promise anything, lol.
Thanks to Kathy letting me see her townhouse this evening, I have better hopes for getting a very nice pre-owned townhome if this new one doesn't work out to be affordable. She and her husband bought a 9 year old townhome that is quite lovely with nice ammenities. It's close to work and she got a reasonably good deal on it. Though it did take her looking at about 60 homes to get there, LOL.
For me the environment around the home is a big factor for whether I like the home. I guess it needs to feel homey. Not overcrowded. And there needs to be trees and other landscaping. So perhaps new is not the best route for me. I just need to see how things work out. I guess patience isn't always my strong suit. LOL.
Can I have another vacation to improve my attitude toward life lately? ;) That and some sleep so I'll write more coherently. :)
Life hasn't dealt me a bad hand, but I wouldn't mind it finding a way to put either more money or love my way. I'm tired of having a lack of both. I'm tired of the lack of both affecting my life the way it has been. *grumble* *grumble *grumble*
I guess no one ever said life would be easy.
I spent the weekend looking at new townhouses north of here. I can't believe how high they've increased in just the last 6 months. But my brother and I found one we like very much. Now the issue is can we afford it? I feel like I need a crash course in mortgages--dos and don'ts.
The prices have become simply insane. If we in fact buy this one, we'll be a good 20 minutes from where we work--without traffic. With is a whole nother story. Otherwise we need to look more north of here in Frederick. The prices drop more once you get into Frederick. Or we need to look at pre-existing homes. However, used homes around here sell within 4-5 days on average. And the owners get more than $10,000 on top of their asking price. Like I said, the housing market here is insane.
What does one do when you can barely afford it? I mean, we'd have no problem qualifying. We'd have to really cutback in order to save enough for the full downpayment, though. And the monthly payments are cutting it close with what we can afford. But the longer we wait the higher the prices go. What is one to do?
*sigh*
At this point I can only wait to talk to the mortgage guy tomorrow.